This book opens with a pretty good promise, and is strangely compelling. At the beginning, I didn’t really care for the characters. Both Jason and Mohinder are caricatures of geeks. They are the very definition the two major stereotypes associated with geeks, with Jason being the reserved, small-framed intelligent nerd and Mohinder being the overweight nerd who objectifies women. Jason is probably the most likable while Mohinder seems fairly deplorable. His only redeeming quality is his dedication to getting Jason together with Trini. Kyle is a disgusting character and Trini epitomizes the weak/strong female who is trapped in a relationship with somebody who is no good. She’s obviously in love with Jason, and I can’t really understand why she’s with Kyle at all.
The dialogue is fairly stilted, but clear with inner monologues that are redundant and hard to follow. Overall, the conversations feel vaguely robotic with a lack of emotion. They seem to be more plot devices to carry information than actual interactions between characters. Despite being told in 3rd person, there is very little narration, most the information being conveyed through awkward conversation and internal monologues.
Minor lapses in word choice and grammar occasionally cause issues with comprehension, but overall, the story maintains an even pace. This isn’t necessarily good, but it’s also not necessarily bad. While I don’t get so immersed in the story that my adrenaline and heart rate increase and decrease with that of the characters, it’s not impossible to read, either.
Excessive use of names and repetitive specifics can cause drag in the flow. Often a paragraph of narration will start every sentence with the character’s name. This kind of bogs the flow down, as it leads to a boring sentence structure. Wording can be really off, almost as if it was transported from a historical romance. “Cellular device” as opposed to “cell” or “cell phone.”
Marie seems to forget basic things, like the fact that people’s eyes are closed when they’re sleeping. This disrupts the reading, causing the reader to go back and re-read the passage to make sure they were not misunderstanding.
I rarely quote books (as in, this is the first time), but I need to quote this:
He was shirtless, wearing only a loincloth on his large barrel chest; he had two wolf paw prints on his pectorals. His face was sculpted, like the superheroes Trini had read about in her comic books. Underneath his eyes, was white paint. On top of his long brunette hair that covered his broad shoulders, he wore a red feathered headdress.
Marie, Remy. Jason’s Awakening (Moonhunters) (Kindle Locations 3691-3694). Kindle Edition.
There is so so so so so much wrong with that sentence. I’m going to start with the simple one. Loincloth on the chest. Loincloths, as the name states go on the loins. To get more complicated. This man is Cherokee. Per the official website of the Cherokee nation:
The Cherokee never wore headdresses, as did some of the Plains Indians. Cherokee warriors usually shaved or plucked their heads except for a single scalp-lock towards the back of the head; they would use it to tie one eagle or turkey feather to their heads. The Cherokee men wore woven turbans made of hide or cloth. Sequoyah, the creator of the Cherokee Syllabary, is always pictured wearing a turban.
http://www.cherokee.org/About-The-Nation/Culture/General/Manner-of-Cherokee-Dress
I very nearly gave up on the book at this point. The caricatures of geeks and nerds. The non-functioning druggie. The thug drug dealer. The small town sheriff. All those stereotypes were irritating, but something I was able to move past. This, however, shows a complete lack of respect for an entire people’s history. The jokes about the casino + the inability to take 20 seconds to google search proper Cherokee traditional dress…*deep breaths*.
Honestly…up till the point where we got super culturally inappropriate, I was willing to say this book had potential. And I guess, with the twist in the love story, it might still be redeemable. There is definitely something new in regards to soulmates and what makes up love in the supernatural realm. However, serious content editing would need to be employed, as well as a decent proof reader. And perhaps a little thought and consideration to the cultures represented. Toward the end, I’m pretty sure the only main character I felt was redeemable was Jason, and even he had moments where I wanted to shake him for idiocy. Trini maintained her whiny and childish behavior through the entire book, making her my least favorite. Mohinder wound up mellowing away from the terrible objectification of women. The resolution of some things were extremely clean, making them less than believable.
This book is filled with caricatures and stereotypes, using inappropriate cultural references for cultural descriptors. The use of poor dialogue instead of narration to convey a majority of the information was rampant. As it moved along, the dialogue-as-narration was reduced, but it was still a major device. The story dragged. There was very little action for a good chunk of the book, and it was overly descriptive in some areas while lacking in descriptors where more could be used. The language vacillated between overly formal (and incorrect–fellatio is performed on men, cunnilingus on women…neither is a sexy word that should be used in a sex scene) to overly coarse (characters cussing when it seemed out of character, sex scenes written more as porn scripts). Marie tried many things in this book, but most of them were poorly executed. Kudos for the soulmate twist and the return to the horror movie werewolf. Both are things that I haven’t seen much of, if at all.
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